We are about a month into the lockout, and I think I am ready to break. As a blogger, I am feeling fine. I took a break from blogging due to bunkering in with some friends in a freakout-shelter for a few days and also a massive heat wave that I believe has wiped out half of America. However, I have a couple of article ideas stowed away, and if push comes to shove, I can start talking about whatever the fuck I want. I GO HARD NOW doesn’t give a fuck if I do a whole post about my own farts (that may be a step up from the normal filth we peddle), and I could probably talk about anything else in between basketball and fart articles. I am set with content.
What has me going bonkers is just a need to at least READ about basketball on a daily basis. Rumors. Practice updates. MOTHER FUCKING SUMMER LEAGUE!!!!! Fuck, anything can get me going. And for the record, ANYTHING does not include lame ass articles about how Baron Davis is going back to college. Baron Davis always had this West Coast intellectual thing going on with his love for movies and shit like that. I know he is smart. I really do not give a fuck if he gets a degree he will never use. I care more that I had to read an article about that shit than I care about the actual topic. I need news about the actual game of NBA basketball, and I fucking need it now.
Some people are looking for alternatives, which I can dig. A bunch of NBA players are playing in international games right now. Unfortunately, these games only seem to happen while I am at work. Also, Derek Fisher is playing in those games, which makes me wonder about their validity as basketball games. At any rate, that would be a legitimate alternative if those games were not on a schedule completely opposite of mine.
Now what has really appalled me is those seeking the dark alternative to NBA basketball. The evil alternative. The taboo alternative. The WNBA. Going from watching the NBA to watching the WNBA is like running out of beer and then resorting immediately to snorting crack cocaine behind a bar while getting double teamed by two transvestites (no offense if that is your thing). Sure, technically you are watching basketball, but it is a dirty, fucked up version of basketball. Soon you are going to realize that you have lost all your self-respect, and you really are not having much fun at all.
The NBA loves to push the WNBA during nationally televised games — and especially the playoffs, but I felt there was a harder, more sinister push during the 2011 playoffs. This was the “Basketball is Basketball” campaign where a bunch of NBA players remind us that, yes, technically the WNBA players are still playing basketball. I cannot argue with the logic that basketball IS basketball — it sure as fuck is! However, I think anyone who actually tries to make that argument as if the WNBA is some kind of supplement is completely missing the point.
First of all, let us get a few things out of the way before I go on:
1. WNBA players would DESTROY me in basketball. They would. They are good at basketball. I am not saying they are good for women. They are plain good at basketball. For any human being. They can play.
2. I completely support women being able to play whatever sport they want to play — either for fun or professionally. They deserve an equal chance. Look at women’s soccer and hockey. In the USA, the women’s teams are almost more popular than the men’s teams (as far as national teams go, at least). Sure nobody goes to see women play soccer professionally, but let us be honest about it — soccer is really fucking lame. My point is that women were given a chance to play those sports, and it seems to be taking off. That is a good thing.
In the case of the WNBA, none of that would ever make me want to watch an actual game. Ever. NBA basketball is great because it is some of the tallest, strongest, fastest, and most coordinated (sometimes in one player) athletes in the world. It is a game made interesting by those characteristics. I love being able to see a basketball player do some crazy athletic shit I have never seen before. That is exciting. That is what makes it great.
The WNBA is none of that. I am sure the best teams in the WNBA play basketball the right way (fundamentally), but I can only get so much excitement from a well run play or a great defensive set. Those are good things to have on any level, but watching a basketball game where I know absolutely nobody is going to dunk? I can’t even go into a men’s high school basketball game thinking absolutely nobody is going to dunk. Not that I would ever want to go to a men’s high school game.
I also hate NCAA men’s basketball, which I will leave for a different article. I have witnessed the all around greatness of NBA ball, and I cannot go back. I will not go back. There are much inferior products out there, and they are not worth my time. Watching a WNBA game now would be like reading an article about how Baron Davis went back to college. Watching college basketball several months from now will be the same.
Sure basketball is basketball, but I also care about the quality of basketball. If you offer me a steak with a pile of shit on the top of it and a steak without any shit on top, I am probably going to choose the shitless steak. I know, I know… steak is steak, but I want the good steak. Not the steak who runs slow and cannot dunk…. And would get beat by any college team in the nation… Fuck that shit.