It is hard to pick on a guy like Aaron Affalo. After having three completely forgettable season, he put in an average season during the 2010-2011 campaign, and I am sure he is feeling completely awesome about himself. He even scored 31 points in one game!!! That has to count for something!

The best thing about Mr. Affalo is that for every 20+ point game, he has another two or four point game. He’s sort of like Denver’s own Sasha Pavlovic! If only Carmelo Anthony was good enough to will Denver to the Finals before he split, then Denver fans could totally overrate Affalo the way Cleveland fans still overrate Sasha to this day. But alas, it wasn’t meant to be, so instead of being overrated, Affalo must settle for (probably) reaching his peak at 12PPG.

To his credit, though, Affalo’s eyebrows are amazing. Who the fuck does he think he is? Antwan Jamison? He has transvestite eyebrows, and I am half-convinced that he heads straight to the club after each game, dressed in a FABULOUS party dress, ready to sing “It’s Raining Men” while men dressed in leather dance with each other. Of course, if he isn’t trying to go for the transvestite look, perhaps he needs to tell his stylist to try something new with those eyebrows.

Before we finish up on Affalo, I would like everyone to head over to his twitter page. Affalo clearly thinks he is some kind of motivational speaker. Every single tweet is about trying his hardest and getting better in life. Either he is doing this to cover up the fact that he is just sitting at home, smoking weed, and playing videogames all day, or he is getting ready for his post-NBA career is an actual motivational speaker. You know, the kind that came to your school when you were a kid to tell you that even YOU can achieve your dreams if you try hard enough! Only you had no idea who the guy was. Like, the teacher who introduced him had to mention that he played in the NBA for seven years (and with eight different teams). He is getting ready to be that guy!

I am at the age where everyone I know is either getting married or having kids — not always in that order. That is a-okay by me. I am getting married myself in less than a year. I plan on having my first kid a year or two after that. I am not one a person who is afraid of growing up and all the shit that goes with it. I may be a sick fuck, but I am actually looking forward to that shit.

My problem is that Facebook has provided people with kids a platform for constantly talking about their kids. Before Facebook, we only had to worry about the type of people who would carry pictures of their kids around with them and sneak-attack them into people’s faces. Now, people who are less aggressive about forcing bullshit about their kids onto people are using Facebook to do it, too. This is in addition to the original aggressors in the “my kid is wonderful” club, who have ALSO taken to Facebook AND still bother you about your kids in real life.

We live in a time where we can never avoid hearing about someone else’s kid, and the big problem is that it doesn’t start with birth anymore. Noooo… We have to hear about this shit from the moment of conception. Status updates on how the couple is about to try to conceive. Status updates on successful intercourse with mutual orgasms. Status updates on positive pregnancy tests. Pictures of the girl with her pregnant belly showing EVERY SINGLE DAY. As soon as someone you are friends with on Facebooks decides it is time they have a baby, you will never hear the end of it.

The worst part of the trend isn’t even in the status updates — I could almost ignore some bullshit about how someone’s kid doesn’t like to eat oatmeal. The worst part is that everyone is putting a picture of their baby up as their profile picture. It is almost as if we should be lead to believe that all of our friends are actually infants. It is just completely uncalled for. If I want to look at a picture of your baby, I will go to your actual Facebook page and look at the billions of pictures of your baby that you have put in your baby photo album. The picture beside your name should be you – so people can recognize it at a glance while scrolling through the news feed.

YOUR PROFILE PICTURE SHOULD ONLY BE OF AN INFANT IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY AN INFANT!

It is shit like this that makes Facebook nearly unusable for me lately. It almost validates all the comments old people make about social media being dumb. Facebook IS dumb. The point of social media is actually socializing. You know what anti-social behavior is in real life? Going up to people and talking to them about your kids when nobody fucking cares about your kids. Or maybe going up to people and talking about your schedule for the day. OR WALKING AROUND WEARING A MASK OF YOUR BABY’S FACE SO IT’S HARDER TO TELL WHO YOU ARE!

All of this is happening while Twitter is being used in the exact opposite way. Twitter is a social conversation. People talk about news. They make jokes. They use the word “cunt” a lot (or at least us IGHN guys do). Twitter is a constant party with groups of people talking about shared interests and bouncing from one conversation to another. I use Twitter almost exclusively to talk about NBA basketball, and it is fucking great.

Facebook is the opposite. It is like getting into a conversation with the world’s most self-obsessed person. There isn’t a conversation. It is just a constant news feed of bullshit nobody cares about… And I hope all of those baby bullshit status updates out there die to improve the gene pool. Then maybe the babies of the future will actually be interesting enough to status update about.

Mission Statement

This started as a misunderstanding. Demetri said, “You know you’ve made it as a blogger when a guy who makes 20 million a year goes on a Twitter tirade about your post” on Twitter. One of our fans mistakenly thought Demetri was talking about I GO HARD NOW instead of some other blog. Well, we aren’t lucky enough to create that kind of havoc. We have insulted a lot of people on this site, but despite being the best basketball blog on the internet, those insults have never gotten back to any players.

Clearly there is a problem — we haven’t insulted hard enough.

At someone point, we collectively held back. We insulted players who didn’t care or don’t know we exist or can’t read. No longer. We love to start fights. We do it on Twitter with other bloggers. We do it on Twitter against each other. Last night, I fist fought my own fiance. I have it on good authority that Mike also knocks around his fiance every once in a while, hoping she will fight back. We crave fighting. We live for fighting. We are a blog of assholes who want to bring everyone else into the muck with us. It makes us feel alive.

That is why we are starting a new feature where we will insult every single player listed on the NBA.COM player page. We’re going to do this before the season (whenever it starts) is over. Hell, we may accomplish it before the lockout is even over (although that would be an unrealistic goal… depending on when it ends). We are going to do this in alphabetical order. We start with Jeff Adrien and end with Thaddeus Young. We don’t skip any players. We go straight on through.

This is a huge undertaking, though… So anyone who writes for a blog and absolutely despises a certain player, send us an email at igohardnow.blogspot@gmail.com. Let us know what player you want to insult, and if someone hasn’t claimed him, he’s yours to rip the fuck apart. It takes a village to insult the entire NBA, and we want you to join our village. It can be as short as a paragraph or it can be a five part bash-fest. We just want to insult everyone.

Enjoy.

Jeff Adrien

Jeff Adrien has to be the worst ever player to write about for an inspirational new column. There are a lot of no-name players on that NBA.com players list, but none of them are quite as no-name as Jeff Adrien. This guy has more zeros and ones in his stat-line than a computer program. Plus, I have it on good authority from my buddy Steve, who is a Warriors fan, that Adrien has trouble making point-blank, wide-open shots. Like the kind that literally anyone ever could make. Those kinds of shots.

He is also best known for being traded from the Erie Bayhawks to the Rio Grande Valley Vipers (D-League teams, if you weren’t aware) straight up for Garrett Temple. Now Garrett will have his turn later, but my-fucking-God… is that really the most interesting thing about Adrien? That he was once traded? IN THE D-LEAGUE? At least Garrett had a 17 point game against Miami once!

Adrien is so fucking boring that he has a Twitter account without one interesting tweet. I mean… not even a funny remark at any point. I know. I read every tweet. He spends most of his time on Twitter expressing his intentions to “grind” and various variations on “grinding.” I completely question his ability to say even one thing that isn’t boring. His Twitter account is worse than Anthony Parker’s.

I guess as a parting note, I want to mention that he signed a contract with Benetton Treviso in Italy with an NBA-out clause for when the lockout ends. I just have to say that this out clause is really cute. He’s going to opt out of a contract with a team where he will actually play… so he can get a ten day contract in the NBA, fail, and then go back to the D-League? Ohhhh shit. Guess what, Adrien? You are NOT going to make it. Ever. Stay in Italy, and maybe hire some Italian guy to teach you how to have a personality.

Part one of this series focused on my journey from being a Cavs fan, to not caring about the NBA to being a big fan once again. I felt as if I needed to explain why I have a random game from the 2005-2006 season on DVD and will be not-live blogging about it.

The game begins with our play-by-play man Michael Reghi and recently-retired color-man Scott Williams. Many of the comments that they make during the broadcast appear to tow the company line, which is ironic because of the questionable series of events that led to Michael Reghi ending his relationship with the Cleveland Cavaliers after that season.

On the free agency signings made by Danny Ferry during the summer:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUax6StoQjc]

Yes, Michael Reghi: The Cavaliers did spend a lot of money last summer. That is not debatable. You are also correct when you ascertain that these are veterans who can “really do damage offensively.” One might say that it can be done at a 40% clip. My favorite part of this clip is seeing their contract year stats and comparing them to what they did in their first year with Cleveland. Larry Hughes averaged 6.5 less PPG with Cleveland than he did with Washington. Donyell Marshall saw his three point percentage drop by 9.2%. Damon Jones scored 5 less points per game. Cleveland spent a lot of money on veterans. They just happened to age in dog years after signing their contracts.

Michael Reghi and Scott Williams love LeBron James:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DnixUYovcI]

This video should not come as any surprise. Before LeBron James was known as “That Guy who exercised his free agency rights by invoking “The Bachelor,” he was known as a great kid who was wise beyond his years. LeBron James was that NBA player who gave up a fast break dunk in his very first NBA game in order to assist a basket to Ricky Davis.

This is not Chris Paul:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4af7V3h_B4w]

This video is very entertaining to me. I realize that Chris Paul was only playing his second game as a pro on that night, but how can Michael Reghi and Scott Williams gush about how amazing Chris Paul is when they are actually showing JR Smith? This clip gets bonus points for JR Smith’s dance moves.

Mike Brown is not a miracle-worker:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnCuf6xGzqQ]

Michael Reghi sees Mike Brown as an “educator” and “teacher?” It’s probably a good idea to not follow that comment up with a discussion about this guy.

Drum corps, anarchist Swedish 90′s hardcore and cornrows:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlQZc6yKoSk]

Everybody loves the player introductions. They are always embarrassingly bad and somehow manage to look outdated even when they are current. This one is one of my favorites for three reasons: The people dancing along to the drum corps in the beginning, the fact that they play a sound clip of “New Noise” by the Swedish anarchist band Refused in the highly capitalist Quicken Loans Arena and because we get to see Anderson Varejao with cornrows. You’re welcome, internet.

“Keep that visual in your mind, Cavaliers fans:”

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRRb7ymwhUE]

A little over two minutes into the Larry Hughes/LeBron James era, we are treated to this fantastic alley-oop play. Michael Reghi ensures the audience of Cavs fans that we will “see a lot of it this year between Larry Hughes and LeBron James.”

Speaking of seeing a lot of it this year:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WQuGU33hew]

Michael Reghi promised us that we would see a lot of exciting two-man play between Larry Hughes and LeBron James. The following offensive possession was more accurate. Behold, Larry Hughes’ very first ill-advised jump shot for Cleveland.

Zydrunas Ilgauskas was once an effective center:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0z2oCzaAXRg]

It feels like this was a lifetime ago. Zydrunas Ilgauskas was never known for being nimble or quick, but he looked significantly better in this stretch than he has in his last few seasons with Cleveland.

Speaking of visuals:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m21xaZyPO6I]

This is Damon Jones’ very first three point attempt with the Cleveland Cavaliers. Even Gordon Gund could tell that it did not end well.

The first Scottie Pippen comparison:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRq1bEibgbU]

Here is a 1:36 long conversation comparing Hughes/James to Pippen/Jordan. It’s coming from a guy who used to play with Michael Jordan, so he has to know what he is talking about.

A truly horrible commercial:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKNuZJbXcZg]

Every Cavs fan has to remember this commercial. Most have probably done a good job of suppressing it until I decided to come along and ruin everything.

David Stern loves Oklahoma City:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC1pbiJbjMw]

What a heartwarming story. Hurricane Katrina ravaged through New Orleans and the wonderful city of Oklahoma City opened up their arms and took in the Hornets. The skeptic in me has to wonder if David Stern was using this very unfortunate situation in New Orleans to plot ways to move the Supersonics to Oklahoma City. It is eery to listen to David Stern discuss the NBA in Oklahoma City multiple years before it actually happened.

LeBron James “oozes the right way to do things:”

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB6fISDXYy0]

Except when it comes to the proper way of exercising his free agency. When it comes to that, he will do it the exact opposite way of how it should be done.

LeBron James makes four consecutive three point shots:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTwPyGm02yw]

As I mentioned in part one of this post, my relationship with the NBA and Cavaliers was on the mend prior to this game. Seeing this sequence of incredible play from LeBron James had me smitten once again. I really don’t like that LeBron fellow, but I get nostalgic when I watch this clip. Watching this brings back emotions that I was feeling almost 6 years ago. I will always resent LeBron James for the way that he handled his free agency, but I have gotten to the point where I can appreciate what happened in his time in Cleveland.

Michael Reghi and Scott Williams discuss the Ron Harper and Danny Ferry Trade:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2Ks6QcOpD8]

Thanks for reminding me, fuckers.

Larry Hughes finally scores a basket:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFjtbT7MJK4]

It only took almost two and a half quarters and a fast break, but Larry Hughes finally got his first field goal as a Cleveland Cavalier. He would finish the night with ten points on 2/9 shooting.

The Damon Jones leg-kick:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NePZu40K_hA]

Here is a blast from the past for Cavs fans. What was the deal with the Damon Jones leg kick? How does one even think of such a thing?

One for the Browns fans:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1kfxLZaZas]

Romeo Crennel loves Cleveland because he can buy a chicken bacon ranch pizza? I guess that makes perfect sense.

Michael Reghi and Scott Williams discuss NBA officiating:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sACcrV6keOI]

I find it very interesting that Michael Reghi mentioned that NBA broadcasters were able to attend a referee symposium. One thing that drives me crazy is how uninformed NBA fans tend to be about officiating. I feel that there are multiple factors for this. First and foremost, it is easier to blame an outside force for your team’s failures instead of the team itself. Second, I believe that the nature of local broadcasts with biased views creates uninformed NBA fans. The NBA simply cannot be biased against all 30 teams. No amount of superlatives and “facts” can prove this.

The Cavs fans love Luke Jackson:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCvFrapp44M]

Has there ever been a scrub who was as beloved by a fan base as Luke Jackson was in the first part of the 2005-2006 season?

My final thoughts on this game:

Cleveland looked like a pretty good team in this first game, but hindsight shows that it had more to do with LeBron James bucking the trend and going ape-shit from beyond the arc. Damon Jones and Donyell Marshall also combined for 30 points. Many Cavs fans were excited about the team’s prospect after this game, but it was fools gold. LeBron James was still young and it was painfully evident that his defense was pretty suspect. Instead of playing solid man-to-man defense, he took a cue from Larry Hughes and over-played the passing lanes.

I made many facetious comments about the free agency signings from the summer of 2005. One thing that I think people must remember is that despite the fact that it did not work out in the end, they were not as horrible as the history books show. This team was a proven playoff team that managed to make it to the finals. Danny Ferry had to make a splash in order to get LeBron James to re-sign with the Cavs. After Ray Allen, Michael Redd, Sarunas Jasikevicius and others turned down Cleveland, sitting on cap space was simply not an option. Not with LeBron James becoming a free agent the following summer.

It is funny to look back and see how misguided our enthusiasm was entering that season, but it made sense at the time.

Some of my earliest memories involve being a huge fan of the Cleveland Cavaliers. I do not remember the exact moment that I was hooked, but it probably happened pretty soon after the wildly successful 1986 draft that netted the Cavaliers Mark Price, Brad Daugherty and Ron Harper. I watched every single game for years. I repeatedly expected the Cavaliers to beat the Bulls in the playoffs and was disappointed each and every year.

I was born in 1981, so my twelve year old self was too naive to realize that the Cavaliers did not have a chance in beating the Bulls in the 1993 playoffs. I didn’t realize that no single team has ever recovered from an 0-3 deficit to win a playoff series. I may have been told that, but I was too optimistic to really let it sink in. This fact made the following video clip hurt like hell:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKxTF_lc62M]

I sat stunned in my room. I held back tears. This could not be happening again. Not like this. Something happened to me that night. My biggest passion in life hurt too much. I gave up. The Cavaliers moved to the Gund Arena the following season. They had a new head coach. The veterans that remained on the team were not as good and were wearing these odd jerseys that didn’t resemble the Cleveland Cavaliers that I knew for my whole life. I would occasionally attend a game at the new arena, but watching them was no longer a priority for me. I always maintained that it was too much emotionally to continue caring about this team. Little did I know that it would only get worse.

My reduced enthusiasm slowly became a lack of interest and quickly became complete apathy. By the time I was in high school, I couldn’t name every NBA team. I remember finding out that Shaquille O’Neal was on the Lakers when I happened to be at a bar that was showing a Finals game in 2000. I had new interests and had completely moved on from the NBA. There was a little bit of resentment towards sports. I hated people who liked sports. I was too cool and couldn’t be bothered. I do not know what specifically led to me having that opinion, but it was very real.

I feel as if my journey to where I am today as an NBA and Cavs fan is much like many people who are my age. We loved, we got hurt, we became apathetic and couldn’t refrain from falling in love again after Cleveland landed the first overall pick in 2003. I tried to not get caught up in it again, but LeBron James was simply too good to not care.

I was in a long-term relationship all through college. It wasn’t the worst relationship ever, but there are plenty of reasons that it fortunately ended. One issue was that I would get grief whenever I wanted to watch LeBron James and the Cavs play. For James’ first two years, I watched only a handful of games. Something snapped before the 2005-2006 season. I was going to watch every game, dammit.

For reasons unknown to me still to this day, I decided to record the very first game of that season onto a DVD. It probably had something to do with the fact that I had just gotten a DVD recorder and was excited to watch the Cavs again. I decided to re-watch that game and create a post about it. There is plenty of unintentional comedy that takes place during that game. Part two of this post will feature videos from that specific match between the Cavaliers and Hornets with commentary from me.

I hope you enjoy.

Earlier this month, Demerti wrote an article pointing out five teams in need of re-branding. I agree with that post, but it got me thinking about re-branding in general. There are a lot of teams with stupid names (Oklahoma City Thunder anyone? Their brand is A SOUND. What’s their mascot, a sound wave?) that I wish I could change, but remember — there are worse team names out there. Sure a lot of NBA team names are dumb, but they are also completely inoffensive. To a team owner, that can be a very valuable thing. An owner could pick a cool name that also alienates their entire fan base.

THAT IS THE SUBJECT OF THIS ARTICLE!

How can I re-brand five teams with kind of cool names that — for that city — would be just an awful idea? What are the worst possible team names that are also kind of cool? I could stretch this into the most offensive article ever (I had a great joke about 9/11 that was so offensive, it would have shut this blog down forever!), but that would probably involve creating unrealistic team names for the sake of being offensive.

So without further ado, here are the top five worst re-branding ideas (in no particular order):

Dallas Assassins

Let’s admit it, if your team was called the “Assassins,” you would think that was pretty fucking cool. Your mascot would look like the guy from Assassins Creed. It could do a bit with a green screen where it murders the opposing team’s best player on the jumbotron. It could pretend to sneak around the audience handing out giveaways. That would be awesome. Except that — among shitty weather and being in one of the worst 10 states in America — Dallas is very well known for being the city where JFK was assassinated. Imagine that cool assassin mascot changing from the guy from Assassins Creed to Lee Harvey Oswald. Instead of handing shit to people in crowds, I guess he can shoot prizes to people in some kind of prize-cannon shaped like Oswald’s rifle. I don’t know, but I think the people of Dallas would sooner like to pretend that no assassination of a beloved American president happened there.

Los Angeles Riots

I think the “Riots” would be a really badass team name — as long as it’s for a city that didn’t have a six day race riot after the police got off after viciously beating Rodney King. Or probably if that team didn’t have any race riots at all. Or maybe even no riots at all. People are sensitive about that shit. However, this team name would be the worst in LA (with Chicago pulling in a close second) due to a few things:

1. The riots were about race, and basketball just happens to be considered a black sport since something like 99.999999% of the good American basketball players are black. This would be a slap in the face to black people.

2. These riots happened in 1992, so it’s recent enough that A LOT of the fan base either remembers exactly when they happened or have been told in detail what they were like. I guarantee you that these riots still hurt in LA.

3. This is a team with a proud tradition of winning, and I think they like the fact that “Los” and “Lakers” both start with “L”s…. It’s like a double win for them — they’ve won a billion titles AND they have (sort of) alliteration going on.

4. I guess the Clippers could be the ones to change their name to the “Riots,” but wouldn’t that be just the final nail in that team’s coffin?

Miami Murderers

Speaking of alliteration! This name is just way too good to pass up! Only that Miami is practically known for violent crimes! In 2009, Forbes.com voted Miami the third most dangerous city in the United States! This is something Miami likes to pretend doesn’t exist while they talk about how awesome their night life and rich people are. When you see empty seats at a Heat game, you’re not sure if it’s empty because some asshole rich dude is too cool to show up despite having a team with three of the biggest names in the NBA… or if it’s because the person who bought that seat was murdered sometime before the game started. Either way, the “Murderers” is a cool name that would perhaps be better suited for a city without such a high murder rate.

Oklahoma City Bombers

I’m not sure if this one needs an in-depth explanation. “Bombers” is a really fucking awesome team name. SOMEONE needs to name their team that. SOMEONE! However, this one is just not a good fit for Oklahoma City. And even I won’t go so far to suggest that they would deserve it after taking the Sonics from Seattle and then being total douches to Seattle fans afterward. No, I would never suggest that.

New Orleans Hurricanes

A hurricane is kind of the ultimate force of nature. They happen more than you would think (especially including “typhoons into the hurricane numbers… since they’re sorta the SAME FUCKING THING), and they just fuck shit up. Badass name, right? Wouldn’t you want your team compared to a God-damn fucking hurricane!?!? Well, you probably would unless a hurricane absolutely crushed your city like Katrina did to New Orleans. New Orleans is already going to lose Chris Paul — and then probably their team — it would suck for them if they also had to be reminded of the tragedy that almost completely destroyed their city every time they watched a game. This would be a bad idea.

Because a few guys wrote parts that were really fucking long yesterday, we had to split this piece into two parts. Yesterday’s part featured our guest blogger, IGHN blog owner Mike, and IGHN writer/self-professed Delonte lover Jon. Today, we feature the rest of our staff as they give their book/article recommendations for people to check out.

Demetri: Several Selections (That Isn’t the Name of a Book)

Just like Mike, basketball and humor are my two favorite things. I enjoy a good laugh more than just about anything in the world (have I mentioned how much I love Dad Boner in the last thirty seconds?), but I need to go in a different direction. The feeling that you get when something is done that is devoid of humor completely and actually moves you is incredible. The purpose of this Asshole Convention is to discuss a single book or article about basketball. I am going to cheat a little bit because I feel like it.

A book that I enjoyed was “Pistol: The Life of Pete Maravich” by Mark Kriegel. One aspect of “Pistol” Pete Maravich’s life that I found intriguing was that his father, Press Maravich spent his whole life indoctrinating his son to be the best and most skilled basketball player that he could be. Every basketball fan has logged onto Youtube and watched the legend of Pete Maravich, but to understand everything that he went through to become the basketball player that he was is captivating. His father viewed basketball as war and Pete Maravich was a young, Spartan warrior in training.

My favorite basketball-related book that I have read is “The Art of a Beautiful Game” by Chris Ballard. Before I get into the details of why I liked this book so much, I would like to discuss an outside factor that made this book so amazing. That is that it was published a little bit after “The Book of Basketball” by Bill Simmons and without any of the fanfare. When Bill Simmons published “The Book of Basketball,” he intended one writing the definitive book about the game of basketball. Simmons did a good job of discussing the great players in the game, what makes a good team function and a poor (but talented) team falter, but he did not capture specifically what it is that we all love about basketball.

The premise of “The Art of a Beautiful Game” is that Chris Ballard dissected twelve specific areas of basketball and discussed them with players who specialize in that function. There is a chapter about “Killer Instinct” that discusses one-on-one games that Kobe Bryant played with a high school class mate who had approximately 1% of his talent. You can guess how those games finished. There is another chapter about high pressure situations and how they ruined Nick Anderson’s career. You learn that Steve Kerr had the letters “F” and “I” written on his shoes. This was used as a coping mechanism to combat anxiety from the pressure of being a shooter in the NBA. In case you are wondering, it stands for “fuck it.” Chris Ballard discusses the art of rebounding with Dwight Howard and why all tall, athletic guys are not good at it (I am looking right at you, Ryan Hollins).

My favorite chapter in the book is about dunking. One of the most frustrating thing for a fan who appreciates the athletic gifts of NBA players is not being able to even remotely replicate their dunks. I cannot think of anything that would be more fun than to be able to dunk on a regulation NBA rim. The author does a fantastic job discussing how great it is to be able to do so and how us non-athletic slobs will never understand. The chapter finishes with Ballard discussing ultimate irony: Even these guys who can do these amazing things with a basketball eventually lose that ability and we are left wanting to be able to dunk.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book because of what a great job Chris Ballard did breaking down the game and critiquing it as if it were an art form. You gain appreciation for the players’ mortality, their anxieties, the preparation that goes into a game defensively and overcoming doubt from decision-makers.

Bon Jush: Amaechi becomes first NBA player to come out

I recommend reading this article if only to get a better understanding of who homosexuals are in our larger society and to help break down hate mores held by not only the general public but also that of those “role models” who so many kids look up to as well.

Kendon: Traveling West Finds Cleveland

My favorite article is weird. I didn’t choose it because the writing is good. It isn’t. Dave Campbell will never win any awards for anything ever… unless there is an award for being a completely average journalist. I didn’t even chose it because the message of the piece was good. In retrospect, the idea of any player from the Lebron James era of the Cavs finding “home” in Cleveland is sort of laughable… Especially when it comes to the player this article is about.

I’ll just admit it — I picked this article because I love Delonte West. He’s one of the most interesting players in the NBA, and that was true even before he fucked Lebron’s mom. That’s doubly true after he boned her hard… during the playoffs… I assume going bareback.

I haven’t been able to find any other article that looks into Delonte’s “backstory” to the depth that this article does. Campbell may not be a very talented writer, but at least he tried to do his homework on Delonte more than any other writer I’ve seen. This article takes the cheap route and easy story line of a poor boy who finally finds a home in whatever his current city is, but that isn’t why you should read this article.

Buried somewhere in the article are glimpses of Delonte’s past. Growing up in a rough city. Being sent to live with an absent father amongst other children who are out for blood because Delonte looks different. Delonte would later go on to admit he is bi-polar… and then get caught speeding on a tricked out motorcycle with guns strapped to his back. He’s had a weird past, a weird present, and I am sure a weird future. It’s interesting to at least get somewhat of a grasp on where he has come from.

My only hope is that someone more ambitious than me with actual press credentials reads this article and thinks, “there has to be more to this story.” Delonte is such an odd character, and this article is so one dimensional, there has to be more to this story than this Disneyfied version. I hope someone reads this and decides to get the rest of the story — and to tell it in the way the story deserves to be told. Delonte West seems like a troubled, complicated person — and I’m sure playing mud ball with a bunch of racists isn’t the only reason why.

This article is a hint at what made Delonte who he is, and I just really hope it inspires someone to dig more. We really, really want to hear more about Delonte. Fucking everybody does.

One of the hardest parts of this lockout has nothing to do with any games that are or aren’t being played. Let’s face it, while Summer League is pretty cool, nobody spends their time weeping over missed Summer League games. More toxic than that is the lack of just cool shit to read. Well, we here at I GO HARD NOW want to give you a summer reading list to help get you through at least the next few hours. We have three recommendations today, and we will have four tomorrow. We’ll start you off with the required summer text from our guest blogger Emile Avanessian of Hardwood Hype. Then we’ll move on to the regulars at IGHN.

Emile Avanessian: Hey Rube

Mike: Lebron James: The Making of an MVP

Jon: I’m Not Sure

I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently, but only decided to write a post about it after hearing David Stern refer to Adrian Wojnarowski as “blogger” in the most recent Bill Simmons’ Podcast (The BS Report.) Okay, I didn’t really listen to it. I saw twitter updates (from people that I can generally rely on) that claimed he did. However, it gives me a reason to post this article. For some of us, the term “blogger” is a label that we pride ourselves on. We are not attached nor bound to the archaic rules and inane traditions that come with becoming a member of the sacred cult of journalist. For others a blog is simply a means to an end. A foot in the the doorway of the sacred “mainstream media.” What a load of shit.

I have worked for a newspaper, and let me tell you something: the media is bullshit. I wasn’t a writer* (I am not nearly talented enough, nor do I have enough ambition), but the writers in my office were so obsessed with “big stories,” such as fires and rape, that they would literally chase ambulances. Literally. An ambulance would drive by our office and they would jump into their cars and chase after it. Really. So you’re telling me, that in order to become a respected member of this community, I have to serve my time at a shitty local newspaper, hoping against hope that a big enough catastrophe happens within the geographic area that I live in, and can report on, so that I can gain enough attention to garner a look at a slightly larger market? Shit. Oh, and to garner respect in that locale I must practically stalk athletes and local celebrities (not to mention chase emergency vehicles)? Oh, and the medium is dying because advertisers (the only source of revenue for newspapers) are learning that there are more cost effective methods of reaching an audience with a much greater return on investment? Fuck that.

Like I said, Bill Simmons has been making me think about the definition of “blogger” for a while now. It all started when I noticed that ol’ Billy Boy (can I call you that, Billy Boy? Oh, you aren’t reading this? Well, fuck you, Billy Boy) uses quite a bit of anti-blogger sentiment in his articles. Here is a guy to got his start in sports journalism (I threw up in my mouth writing that phrase, what a crock of shit) by creating his own blog, making fun of bloggers. Are you fucking kidding me? Hey Bill, when was the last time you wrote for a newspaper? Never? Really? Because lately you act like you only wipe your ass with the New York Times. Look, the man wrote a book (or several for all I know), so he is technically an author. Also, he has become an “insider” due to the relationships he has cultivated during his rise to the “top.” However, rather than encourage those bloggers talented enough to follow in his lead, he decides to deride them. What a dick.

I don’t know what defines a blogger these days. Are the terms “blogger” and “journalist” mutually exclusive? I don’t believe so. Does having one’s name in print make them a legitimate writer? Is it about who you know? What do you mean by blogger, Mr. Simmons? I don’t get paid for writing this, is that the line you’ve drawn? If so, that’s fucked up. I have read too much garbage that was written by overpaid hacks to believe that is the correct definition.

Adrian Wojnarowski is a magnificent prick. The man injects every piece that he writes with personal bias. He seemingly HATES Lebron James, and certainly pulls no punches when criticizing him. That’s probably why a substantial amount of his page views come from Cleveland (Note: this is an assumption based on the fact that I primarily follow people from Cleveland on Twitter). However, at least in my opinion, the man is definitely a journalist. “Woj” does his damn homework. He has sources and I, for one, have not seen him get effectively burned by people repudiating his claims. He works for Yahoo sports, which has become an respectable source of news, for both sports and otherwise. Seriously, that bitch at the desk next to you? The one that always seems to know when oil prices go up, or gives you a heads up about what’s happening abroad? Yeah, she gets all that shit from Yahoo’s homepage. She doesn’t even open the links, just looks the damn synopsis that pops up on her homepage.

I guess that the conclusion of this examination is this: the term blogger is defined by the definers intent. Bill Simmons’ doesn’t want competition because he know that sooner or later people might start looking for alternatives to lazy “The Wire” parallels. Maybe this new generation might not know what the fuck “Teen Wolf” is outside of the context of MTV. David Stern wants to discredit one of his biggest detractors by evoking images of a 30 year old virgin typing out criticism in his parent’s basement. Either way, both are wrong.

Whoever is proven right, in the end, is the true journalist, no matter the medium.

*I was an Advertising Salesman. It sucked, but I gained valuable insight on just how pathetic the newspaper business has become.

The episode is “The Non-Fat Yogurt.” George Costanza runs into his old nemesis, Lloyd Braun. While Lloyd was discussing how many “hot chicks” there were in the frozen yogurt shop, George elbows Jerry in a way that was meant to poke fun at Lloyd. Incidentally, Lloyd catches George doing this and awaits an explanation. George lies and claims that he bumped his elbow and has been having involuntary elbow spasms as a result.

In this comparison, George Costanza is LeBron James and Lloyd Braun is the Boston Celtics. There are a lot of questions about LeBron James’ elbow injury in the 2010 playoffs. Many people assume that LeBron James quit on the Cavaliers and preemptively used a fake elbow injury to justify why he couldn’t perform up to his usual level. I do not buy that version of history. I believe that he choked and decided to bring an injury that probably didn’t exist to everybody’s attention. The great thing about this comparison is that LeBron James looked just as ridiculous shooting a very important free-throw left handed and George does having fake arm spasms.

“The Betrayal” (The infamous “backwards” episode) as the Miami Heat:



I hate to have two Miami Heat comparisons on this post, but the fact that the Heat did not even play a single game and had a George W. Bush “Mission Accomplished” moment makes it difficult to ignore this storyline. Much like “The Betrayal” begins with the end of the episode, The Heat had their championship celebration in reverse order.