What is the best first name to have as an NBA player right now? If we were to pick a basketball team based entirely on a shared first name, which one would reign supreme? This is a question that has been burning at me for the last day or so. I even hashed it out with new IGHNer Amin in the IGHN secret lair, and now I am laying it out for the fans. Let’s figure this out. Together.
First of all, you must know that I intend on playing fast and loose with the names. If there is a foreign version or a different spelling or even a shared abbreviation of different names, I’m lumping all of that into one group. I’m crazy, and I don’t care.
Team Al: Al Harrington (PF), Al Horford (C), Al Jefferson (C), Al Farouq Aminu (SF), Al(ec) Burks (G), Al(onzo) Gee (SF)
I actually don’t hate this team. Sure, it doesn’t have anyone who can create shots for others, but it has a pretty brutal frontcourt.
Team Andy: Andray Blatche (PF), Andre Iguodala (SF), Andre Miller (PG), Andrea Bargnani (C), Andrew Bogut (C), Andrew Bynum (C), Andrew Goudelock
Talk about brutal frontcourt. Not only does this team have guys who can score, a defense anchored by Iggy, Bogut, and Bynum would be PRETTY awesome. Plus you have Andre Miller to distribute the ball. This team is in contention for best first name.
Team Anthony: Anthony Morrow (SG), Anthony Parker (SG), Anthony Randolph (PF), Anthony Tolliver (PF)
This team is unspeakably bad.
Team Brandon: Brandan (I’m going with it) Wright (PF), Brandon Bass (PF), Brandon Jennings (PG), Brandon Knight (PG), Brandon Rush (SG)
What Brandons lack in size, they make up in ability to chuck the ball. This team is not so good.
Team Chris: Chris Andersen (C), Chris Bosh (PF), Chris Duhon (PG), Chris Johnson (F), Chris Kaman (C), Chris Paul (PG), Chris Singleton (SF), Chris Wilcox (PF), Christian Eyenga (SF)
Sure it’s bigman heavy, but there is a lot of star-power in this lineup. Chris Paul dishing it to Bosh, Kaman, and secret weapon Eyenga? Add in some nice role players, and this team is nearly unstoppable.
Team Derrick: Derek Fisher (PG), Derrick Brown (F), Derrick Favors (C), Derrick Rose (PG), Derrick Williams (F)
For some reason, I really like this team. The idea of a Favors/Rose/Williams threesome? Maybe it is just that Rose is that good by himself? This is a team that would definitely win a game or two – even though Derrick is a stupid name.
Team Jason: Jason Kidd (PG), Jason Maxiell (F/C), Jason Richardson (SG), Jason Smith (PF), Jason Terry (SG), Jason Thompson (C)
This team could probably compete – and I like that Kidd and Terry already have chemistry from playing together in Dallas. I don’t think Jasons would be a top seed, but they’d make the playoffs and maybe upset a team in the first round.
Team John: Johan Petro (C), John Salmons (SG), John Wall (PG), Jon Leuer (F), Jonny Flynn (PG)
John Wall – yes. The rest of the team – no.
Team Josh: Josh Childress (SF), Josh Harrellson (F), Josh Howard (SF), Josh McRoberts (PF), Josh Smith (PF)
Just imagine a team where Josh Smith is the go-to guy for all your offense! This team would be awful.
Team Kevin: Kevin Durant (SF), Kevin Garnett (PF), Kevin Love (PF), Kevin Martin (SG), Kevin Seraphin (F)
Look at the star power! Sure, we’d be starting Kevin Martin at PG, but who cares? Throw the ball to anyone but Seraphin and watch the magic happen. This team is in it to win the title.
Team Marc: Marc Gasol (C), Marcin Gortat (C), Marco Belinelli (SG), Marcus Camby (C), Marcus Thornton (G), Markieff Morris (F), Marquis Daniels (SG)
The Marcs have a lot of depth at center, but I seriously question the ability of chucker Marcus Thornton to not totally hijack this team given that the ball will be almost exclusively in his hands.
Team Mike: Mike Bibby (PG), Mike Conley (PG), Mike Dunleavy (SF), Mike James (PG), Mike Miller (SG)
The names on this list aren’t so bad, but a team has problems when Dunleavy is your one “big man.”
Team Nick: Nick Collison (PF), Nick Young (SG), Nicoals Batum (SF), Nikola Pekovic (C), Nikola Vucevic (C)
A few good role players plus Nick Young… Would this team even win a game?
Team Steve: Stephen Curry (PG), Stephen Jackson (SG), Steve Blake (PG), Steve Nash (PG), Steve Novak (SF)
This is another team that lacks big man depth, but I have to believe there would be a game or two where everyone got hot from three, and playing defense wouldn’t matter.
Team Ty: Ty Lawson (PG), Tyler Hansbrough (PF), Tyreke Evans (G), Tyrus Thomas (PF), Tyson Chandler (C)
I actually like this team a lot. It doesn’t have the star power of Team Kevin or Team Chris, but I feel like with some guys who can play defense PLUS the underrated Ty Lawson, this team would win some games.
What is the best first name team? For my money, it’s Team Kevin. This is a star league, and Kevin Durant and Kevin Love together would be hard to beat. However, I say this with the caveat that Team Chris has a crazy amount of depth and a PG to make the whole offense run beautifully. That would be one dope first-name-based Finals matchup.