Spread That Jelly: 3/26/2012 – 4/1/2012

1 Apr

We here at I GO HARD NOW have decided that, in order to expand our readership, that it’s time to tone some things down a bit. As of late, things have just gotten too out of control with the language. Smoke These Joints, Marry/F*ck/Kill, SpaceFunMars’ comics, they’re all too vulgar to attract the key demographic that we here need to reach the next level in blogging, families. That’s right, in the future we plan on going hard to bring you the best in family friendly, NBA-related  writing. So, gather your children around the kitchen and have them read the following articles out loud while you finish making them a wholesome lunch of PB&J sandwiches, because it’s time for you to Spread That Jelly and these little nuggets:

  • The Good: Jeff Gets Tanked. Thanks to TrueHoop, discussion this week has turned to the perceived problem of tanking in the NBA. ESPN has been arguing that by tanking to increase your draft stock, losing teams are dragging down the quality of product in the NBA. While it’s arguably a true statement, the problem is more that there’s no way you can address this “issue” without killing half the franchises in the league, as Jeff explores in this piece. Head’s up parents, Jeff has a bit of a potty-mouth in this one.
  • The Gooder: Amin Goes on a Rant. Furthering I GO HARD NOW’s critique of TrueHoop’s anti-tanking pieces (of course it’s constructive criticism parents, no need to worry), is Amin’s I GO HARD NOW debut piece where he carefully illustrates the hypocrisy in some of the arguments. How can Golden State benching Stephen Curry be universally derided while Tim Duncan can receive a “DND – OLD” to the universal enjoyment of all? It’s a great lesson about fairness, and a great way to teach your children a great lesson, parents.
  • The Gooderest: SpaceFunMars Writes About Names. Finally, with this week’s best piece (but let’s not choose favorites, everyone’s contributions this week were equally great and deserving of trophies), is SpaceFunMar’s light hearted little quest to discover the best first name in the NBA. Read along with your children, discuss which names you like best, and, if you need some quality parent-child bonding time, maybe even come up with a team all your own. It’s the best way turn Sunday into Family-Funday!

But that’s not all! Let’s take a look around the web at some other articles that are worth your time:

  • The Good: Aaron McGuire on Pau Gasol’s Infinite Sadness at Gothic Ginoboli. Aaron is so distraught by Pau Gasol’s recent performance that he’s renamed Gothic Ginoboli to Gothic Gasol in order to cheer the guy up. Parents, this is a great read that will teach your children the importance of positivity and eating a healthy breakfast. Read up!
  • The Not As Good: Pretty Much Everything TrueHoop’s Written About Tanking. In case you didn’t notice by looking at our articles for the week, we have some problems with TrueHoop’s stance on tanking. So much so, that Amin and I even wrote additional arguments against these pieces at our other blogging gigs. If you’ve got older children, perhaps even some angsty teenagers that don’t want to spend time with Mom and Dad, get them read these articles. Have a discusssion. Show them that Mom and Dad and cool and hip and know who Anthony Davis is. Communication is key to a successful family dynamic.
  • The Tube: I know what you’re thinking. What if you have an infant that can’t read all these great articles. Simple, do like any good parent and plop them in front of this cartoon:

 

Comments are closed.