You may have noticed that I have been mostly absent from this site for the last few weeks. I have two reasons for this absence. The first reason (and main reason) is that I don’t love you anymore. I’ve been trying to push you out of my life by ignoring you, but you haven’t gotten the hint. You just keep sticking around, and I hate it. I hate YOU. The second (and lesser reason) is that I bought a house — a process that created quite an internal dilemma for me.  You see, I got my home loan through Quicken Loans (you know, that Dan Gilbert owned company), and I hate myself for it.

I do not like the idea of giving money to ungodly rich owners who just spent nearly half a year fighting other rich people for more money without any regard for how much NBA fans were getting screwed in the entire process.  I am willing to throw my money back into the NBA again because that is something I cannot live without, but I was hoping to avoid giving the owners money via their real businesses. This is why I’ve stopped taking my weekly Carnival Cruise trips in an effort to make a big enough dent in Micky Arison’s wallet that he has to skip eating a steak for at least one of his five meals a day (only poor people limit themselves to three meals a day).

But I slipped when it came to Dan Gilbert and his mortgage company.  Quicken Loans gave me the best rate (and honestly, the best customer service), so I gave in despite my dislike for NBA owners in general and Dan Gilbert specifically. When other fans (I assume) were burning down buildings and facing a life in prison in the good fight against the corruption of the NBA owners, I was caving in — selling out. I was the rich social liberal who decided to vote republican because I wanted to keep paying a lower tax rate. Meanwhile, I got in the way of millions of teenage girls being able to take care of their little accidents.

What have I done?

When I’m the one feeding the Dan Gilbert monster — when I’m part of that problem — can I still complain about the owners? I write for a site that proposed an idea to boycott NBA owners to end the lockout. While the lockout is over, the NBA owners still don’t deserve our patronage. My only excuse is the same one that every NBA player uses when they up and leave  their team — I have to do what’s best for me and my family. Sometimes in life, you have to do something you aren’t proud of for those who matter the most — think Walter White in Breaking Bad during the first season and a half. I don’t WANT to cook meth, but my dog needs a yard… or something.

I don’t have a solution to this inner turmoil. On one hand, I’m not sure if I am justified in giving more money to someone I dislike so deeply. On the other hand, I’m not sure if I owe it to anyone to justify such actions. I only imagine this conflict with myself will be resolved one day when I create some Spacefunspawns and have bigger things to worry about other than how to shaft an NBA owner to the best of my limited ability. It may be several years down the road, but you know the old saying — kids fix everything. Right? And at least I’ll have a house to put them in when that time comes.

Thanks, Mr. Gilbert!