This is part three of a four part series where we trade teams from the Eastern Conference to the Western Conference. To recap some things from part one:
The rules are pretty simple:
-An even amount of teams has to be traded from one conference to another.
-The trades can’t change the overall power in either conference (you can’t trade the Bobcats for the Lakers, for example).
-Each city keeps its teams’ names, uniforms, and arenas. All of the PEOPLE that make up a team (players, coaches, front office, etc) get moved in the trade.
-One person proposes a trade, and then everyone else weighs in on the fairness and overall coolness of the trade.
The IGHNers in this convention are Jeff, Spacefunmars, and new guy JD. The guest is Searching for Slava‘s Dave M.
(And here is part two… why not?)
Western Conference Gets: Boston Celtics
Eastern Conference Gets: Los Angeles Clippers
Q: Wait, how does this work? This seems wholly unjustifiable.
A: Au-contraire mes amis, it’s easy peasy.
First, each team name begins with the letter “C”, even though they’re not actually changing names. To me this somehow holds importance. Second. two major cities swap teams – no inherent advantage or disadvantage there. Third, the team records from last year are extremely close: Clippers went 40/26 for the regular season, while Celtics went 39/27. And finally, the team payrolls are withing shouting distance – around $70 million for the C’s and $65 million for the other C’s – you can do the homework, I’m not your servant.
Let’s look a little closer. Two great point-gods, CP3 and Rajon Rondo. A sweet swap for each city in that regard. Plus, the excitement that is the Blake Griffin dunking machine, flipping places with the legendary Kevin Garnett, still of the rabid desire to win and at the tail end of his career. Coaches? Different story – Doc’s a giant upgrade over Vinny.
The truth of the matter is this – I want to see Paul Pierce and his fellow green-bleeders located in the same actual building as the Lakers but with shittier dressing rooms. Passing them in the hallway, picking up their table scraps, destined for second-tier status and ultimate failure. It doesn’t hurt the city of L.A. one bit – Clippers have always been eternally snake bit and that’s never gonna change, regardless of who’s on the team. As far as the new Celtic’s chances in Boston – they’d have a shot I guess. Maybe they get to lose to the Lakers in the finals to begin their new dynasty.
Wow. This may be my favorite trade so far. I think both team’s strengths match up well against the strengths of the upper tier of what would be their new conferences, so that is cool. What I really like about this trade, though, is that finally the franchise swap of the Buffalo Braves and the Celtics will be reversed. If anyone wasn’t aware, the LA Clippers used to be the Buffalo Braves, and before their first move on their long trek to LA, they switched their entire franchises. Now the universe is back in order, and anything is possible. Except either of these teams winning a title in the near future… probably.
I’m sorry. I can’t do it. I agree with all of your points on value, spite against Paul Pierce, and even the letter C. But…but Boston Fans. I can’t give Boston Fans CP3 and Blake. I just can’t. They don’t even appreciate Rondo. I’m hacking Dan Gilbert’s email and emailing David Stern about this right now. Signed, Basketball Reasons.
Dave’s Response to Jeff’s Response:
Jeff, what if I were to send Donald Sterling to Boston too? Would that help
Jeff’s Final Response:
I’ll pay for his plane ticket. Done deal.
I say nay. I enjoy having the redheaded step children around, and the Celtics deserve their racist, boorish, brutally cold and terrible city.
Part four will be tomorrow.